Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Forged Coupon ReWrite

Alex Cusumano

Dr. Gibson

AWE 1st

13 October 2009

A Long Line of Influences

A famous American cartoonist, Scott Adams, once said, “You don’t have to be a ‘person of influence’ to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.” Adams states that some of the most influential people in his life are unaware of the impact they had on him. The cartoonist also reveals that influential people are not always those of high social status. In Leo Tolstoy’s novella, The Forged Coupon, he illustrates many different occasions where one small mistake leads to another. The characters in Tolstoy’s The Forged Coupon reveal how people can have negative or positive influences on others in society.

In Tolstoy’s novella, the author uses the character of Makhin to demonstrate how an individual can lead another person to commit a transgression that results in a bigger series of offenses. Mitya, a 15-year-old boy, gets himself into debt by borrowing six roubles from a friend to see a movie. He considers himself to be an honest person and he claims must pay back Petya Grushetsky because he promised that he would. He goes to his father to ask for an advance in his allowance, but it only ends in a fight. Mitya sees no easy way out but decides to listen to his friend, Makhin, for advice. The entire novel of The Forged Coupon is formulated on Mitya’s next decision. His original plan was to have his watch pawned. Makhin tells Mitya, “Put a one in front of the two roubles, and it’ll be twelve roubles fifty” (9). Mitya became interested in forging the coupon, even though he contemplates the negative results of the possible outcome. Makhin’s plan runs through Mitya’s head and it becomes exceptionally enticing. The plan seemed to be too easy. Mitya allows Makhin to trace a one in front of the two because the tempting and seemingly unproblematic situation appears flawless—at the time. Mitya successfully passes the forged coupon to Maria Vasilyevna, a store owner’s wife. Yevgeny Mikhailovich, the husband of Maria, realizing the coupon is forged, not only fails to destroy the counterfeit coupon but also passes it on. Yevgeny relays the coupon to a blameless peasant, Ivan Mironov, who was selling firewood in twenty degrees below zero temperature. Ivan seemed to be the perfect target for Yevgeny to pass the fake coupon to. He successfully swindled Ivan into selling him the firewood for cheaper than the cost of dirt, mainly because Ivan was desperate to return home. The forged coupon is eventually deemed counterfeit when Ivan tries to surpass it at a local inn where he ordered wine and tea. Ivan was unaware that the coupon was forged, and Ivan unfortunately ends up in jail for fraud. He was thrown in prison because of Makhin’s seemingly shrewd plan to influence Mitya to forge the coupon. The two boys had no idea what the consequences of their offense would produce. This led to misfortunes that the town people encountered starting with Makhin’s childish forging of the coupon. The poor choice of Makhin led to subsequent transgressions.

Celebrities in society influence the population in negative ways, whether they intend to or not. For instance, many junior golfers in the world today look up to popular tour players like Adam Scott, Camilo Villegas, and the infamous Tiger Woods. The players may or may not realize that every one of their actions on the golf course are perceived by younger, impressionable golfers. Slamming a club into the bag can make a 14-year-old think it is acceptable to do the same because the tour professionals did it. Golfers have the opportunity to influence the golf world by providing positive role modeling, but a flip side exists. A golfer’s temperament becomes evident when he or she hits a poor shot. True character comes out of a failed shot on the golf course. Tiger Woods, known for being the greatest golfer to ever play the game, may surprise people when they see him yell profanities on national television. A younger golfer who sees him curse will be negatively influenced by Woods and they might mimic that behavior after they miss-hit a shot. The little but influential emotional mistakes a player makes on the course has negative consequences for kids idolizing the outstanding golfers. The negative responses to poor results have a subtle but gullible impact upon young golfers.

In Tolstoy’s novella, he develops the character Maria Semyonovna to demonstrate how a positive attitude can guide people’s actions and have positive influences upon others. Maria was first introduced in the novella as having a positive attitude, even in the midst of being burdened by the rest of her family. Her upbeat, contagious attitude came from her hunger for scripture; more specifically, she clung to the teachings from the Sermon on the Mount (41). One day, she encountered a man on the street when she noticed he was staring at her. Maria quickly hurried home in fear that she was being followed. The next night Stepan, the man who was mesmerized by Maria on the street, broke into Maria’s house searching for money that she had received from her pension. Stepan started by murdering her aggressive husband, and also kills her precious daughter out of fear of waking Maria. As Stepan entered the bedroom, Maria sat upright in her bed, motionless and paralyzed. He approached the bed assuming Maria would refuse to give him the money. Maria cried, “Oh, what a great sin! How can you! Have mercy on yourself. To destroy somebody's soul . . . and worse, your own!” (54). He could not listen to her cries any longer and slashed her throat. Yet, the words that Maria cried at the moment of her death pierced Stepan so much so that he turned himself over to the police. In jail, he had repeated nightmares and visions of himself killing Maria. Stepan could not face the pain of his crime anymore and reached out to fellow cell mates in search of something greater. Stepan asked Chouev, his cellmate, “And what will become of those who have done evil?” (64). Maria’s godly example stirred Stepan’s emotions because he had not encountered a woman who accepted death so easily. The majority of his victims screamed and cried mercilessly, hoping they could bribe the killer for money. But Maria’s godly life influenced Stepan. It was not because she acted like a Christian so that others would comment on her attitude, but because she was a Christian day in and day out. Her cheerful heart wooed Stepan into examining his own life. Maria’s death led to a life being saved, and that life was the murderer who killed her and her family.

Just as Maria’s life changing positive attitude affected Stepan, some social groups in the world today have positive impacts on others. A group of three young filmmakers traveled to Africa in search of a story. To their surprise, they discovered a world where children were victims but also brain washed to act as weapons in a tragic country stuck in a war. They brought back a rough cut of their findings to the United States, with the objective of inspiring young adults to help underprivileged children of Africa. They became the Invisible Children foundation. Their staff consists of hundreds of full time volunteers, thousands of students, and thousands of supporters. Every single day the organization inspires high schools by showing the video to numerous groups of kids and giving them the opportunity to help neglected children, simply by donating spare change. Millions of dollars in donations were received in 2008. They raised awareness about Uganda’s violence involving the “invisible children”. The seemingly small video moved many high schools and inspired even more students to make a difference.

In Leo Tolstoy’s novella, The Forged Coupon, he illustrates how people are influenced in simple but positive ways, or, conversely, negative ones. As Adams alluded to, the most influential figures in people’s lives are probably not aware of their impact. This makes the influence they have on people genuine because then their influence does not come from trying to impress others but from being passionate. Tolstoy’s novella demonstrated many different occasions where people were influenced in negative and positive ways. The smallest of actions can change the lives of many people. Whether it is by donating a dollar to a charity, helping a food drive, or collecting coats for the homeless. Every action that is intended to help is a step in the right direction.

1 comment:

  1. Cus:
    You totally impressed me with your work on this essay (both first and rewrite). Keep showing this kind of progress throughout the year. Below, I have chosen to focus on one issue from each of your body paragraphs (in order). Try to learn from my modeling:

    - This leads to misfortunes that the town people encounter, starting with Makhin’s childish forging of the coupon.
    (2 notes: you shift from literary present to past tense with the sentence in your 1st body paragraph, which you have no cause for doing. Also, you leave out an important comma).

    - You failed to address the significant content issue I discussed with you in conferencing. You mention three prominent golfers, but you only address Tiger Woods. This causes a problem in your presentation/flow. It was an easy fix; I am surprised you did not correct it.

    - It was not that she acted like a Christian so that others would comment on her attitude but because she was a Christian day in and day out.
    (You use "because" twice in your version of the sentence, and you place a comma before the conjunction. Read each part of the sentence before the "but." Only one half of the sentence forms an independent clause).

    Your conclusion is a bit too long. Also, the second to last sentence is a fragment.

    Again, I love the progression you have shown. Thanks for your efforts -
    Gibson

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